I hope you are able to take a few moments of your time to enjoy reading my words.
This is the first thing I've posted in a number of years and I feel inspired to write as a result of the latest published research into psychedelics and the BBC Radio 4 program Psychedelic Science. I've been a long-time advocate of the potential of psychedelics and read with an inner glow at the findings from Imperial College, London. At last, here is some scientific evidence of the potential of these substances!
This is something I have known personally for some time and here, for the first time in writing, I want to start sharing my thoughts on the subject, from the research I've done and my own experiences as a 'psychonaut'. Psychedelics are one way to help us become who we are, to remove our ego-personas and unlock our potential. Of course, as the current British law stands, we're not allowed to explore our own consciousness with these substances and instead either have to do it illegally or scuttle off to Holland for a weekend with the Psychedelic Society.
I want to start by asking what it means to be human. We all know that we are a physical entity and that we have physical needs for air, food, water, clothing, shelter etc. But we also acknowledge that in order to grow and flourish we also have emotional needs that need to be met, such as the need for safety and security, a sense of belonging, to give and receive attention, to have emotional connections and intimacy, to have some sense of control in life, and to feel that our lives are somehow meaningful.
Fundamentally of course, as human beings we are 'centres of awareness' - we are more than just the body with its five senses, more than our emotions, more than our thoughts. These things are contents of our consciousness, not consciousness itself. We are consciousness that is conscious of itself. And this is where psychedelics can prove very useful.
I believe every human being has the right to explore his or her own consciousness. Although I've had mystical experiences without psychedelics, nothing is more guaranteed to give you a taste of the divine. In the right frame of mind and in the right place (what has been termed 'set and setting') LSD, psilocybin (so called magic mushrooms) and the like will shift your centre of awareness away from your ego/survival-self and toward a non-boundaried existence where everything becomes one. Instead of being fixated on oneself (what I call the 'I, me, mine' mentality that drives the materialistic and consumerist society of the western world, with its ever-increasing rates of stress and depression) psychedelics hook us up to a much larger model of reality, usually referred to as God.
Put any religious ideas aside. There is no bearded man sitting in the clouds! To my way of understanding, God is a word that means 'the ultimate state of consciousness', a state of Being-ness that is beyond conceptualization. No words will suffice. Indeed, there are many psychedelic advocates proposing that religion itself was spawned through the use of psychoactive plants.
So how did I get into this? By my late teens I think I had already started the 'journey to becoming'; I was studying my dreams, was extremely interested in Tarot cards, achetypes, and symbolism. I had already had an astral projection experience. You could say I was an apprentice mystic.
My introduction to 'acid' started in my early 20s during the height of the rave culture. I'd been influenced by listening to and reading about The Beatles and wanted to find out what John and George (especially those two) had been up to in the 60s. But rather than join others in secret wooded locations who mixed their acid with Ecstasy and blissed-out to thumping beats whilst waving their arms in the air like some kind of whirling dervish in slow-motion, I approached LSD with a scientist's mind. For me it was always about an exploration in consciousness that needed careful planning and not mindless hedonism or escapism. This was about finding oneself, one's True Self, not losing oneself. (I'm fully aware now, of course that there is a paradox here; we find our True Self by losing oneself, by losing our ego-self, that controlling and mostly fear-based mask that we wear. As was said 2000 years ago, '"You must die before you die.")
I soon learned that 'dropping' acid required a willingness to surrender, to let go and flow with the experience rather than try too much to control it. However, there were precautions that I took which were in my control. I mostly 'tripped' with a good friend, or a small group, or sometimes alone, and whenever I did I made sure of several things, things that anyone who is considering taking psychedelics should ask themselves...
- Firstly, am I in the right state of mind to take this stuff? I wouldn't recommend this to anyone with a history of psychosis; this is powerful medicine and if the set and setting isn't right you can find yourself living through a hellish experience. I've been there and I have no history of psychosis! If you're in a generally happy and carefree state of mind these same feelings have a tendency to be amplified when the trip kicks in. Indeed, whatever you're experiencing prior to taking the drug seems to be intensified. It is a bit like dreaming at night, dreams being a metaphorical representation of the daytime's unresolved emotional arousal. Psychedelics seem to highlight underlying concerns, feelings, thoughts, unresolved issues etc. You have to be prepared for anything to happen and because of this it is safest (if you're new to this) to ensure you have a guide or a trusted friend who could help you through any challenging moments. Remember, with LSD the trip will last a good 10 to 12 hours. Mushrooms last about half that time, depending on the dosage of course. (I will say more about the therapeutic use of LSD and psilocybin to treat things like depression and PTSD in a later post).
- Am I in the right environment and with the right people? Getting the 'setting' right can have a huge impact on how your trip goes. I always preferred sunny days where I could wander outside barefoot to feel more in touch with nature. And I only ever took LSD with people I knew well and trusted.
- Do I have a plan if things go 'wrong'? If the trip starts to go bad do I have support? Do I have a strong enough personal psychology to help me through it? One of the things I found very helpful was in already having developed an Observing Self, the 'witness' state, where I could dissociate (at least in part) from things if they had taken a bad turn. On one such trip my friend and his girlfriend were arguing to the point of breaking up; I witnessed their tears. Later, back home lying in bed during the silence of 4am I felt like I was the last person left alive on planet earth. Even in this seemingly apocalyptic situation I felt kind-of okay in myself. There was, however, a noticeable sense of relief when I heard a parent open their bedroom door and go downstairs. The spell was broken as I listened to their footsteps on the stairs. There was at least one other person left alive on the planet.
- Do I have a 'security blanket' with me? For me this was the right music, a note/drawing pad, pens, pencils, interesting objects like crystals to look at, Tibetan Bowls to play, my guitar. These are things you can occupy yourself with, to become immersed in or use as distractions if things become too much. I would write down my observations and thoughts as they occurred or shortly afterward, not an easy thing to do on psychedelics as there is a tendency to become easily distracted by the veins on the back of the hand, which, of course, appear to be moving under the skin in undulating patterns!
- And of course there is the issue about how you feel about breaking the law and the quality of the drug itself; where did you source it? Is it pure? If in doubt, leave it alone!
So, psychedelics are only one way to help us become who we are. In later posts I will explore this in more detail and look at other ways of achieving our potential, which, I believe, largely hinges on our use of the REM state. It has long been my belief that as humans we are not the finished article. Mystics have reported such for millennia, telling us that humanity is sleep-walking. With on-going research into the potential medicinal and therapeutic use of psychedelics I hope that we are on the cusp of a major breakthrough with regards human psychology and our understanding of consciousness. This time around we must ensure that any beat poets and self-styled gurus in the mould of Timothy Leary keep their mouths shut. This must not be a counter-culture movement, but something of the mainstream, backed by hard scientific evidence. A good start has been made and I hope there is much more to come over the next few months and years.
